The Story of Us

There were 3.8 million people living in Los Angeles in 2003, and somehow we managed to find each other. At church. As the choir belted out the Hallelujah Chorus, his eyes met mine from across the pew, and instantly we knew. This is the part where you hear the screech of the rewind button like in the movies, and I show you what really happened. We did meet at church—to the sheer joy of both of our parents—but this is how it happened.

SHE SAID: I met Dave’s best friend Matt at a wedding. I was friends with the bride, and Matt was friends with the groom. The bride had mentioned Matt to me as a fun, single guy that I should definitely get to know. Matt asked for my number at the wedding, but he didn’t call me until three months later. When he did finally call, he wanted to know what church I went to, and if it was the same one Scott and Gretchen attended. I thought, why didn’t he just call Scott to ask? He obviously likes me and needed an excuse to call. Sure enough, he shows up at church the following Sunday.

HE SAID: Molly and I met at church. What lead up to that point, is why it took me two years to ask her out. My best friend Matt invited me to church one Sunday and mentioned his friend Molly went there. The day comes, and as we’re walking up, he sees her. “There’s Molly,” he said in hushed tones. “Oh, and she really like me.” “Ok, that’s cool,” I thought. Matt introduces us, and she’s very nice. It seems like she may like Matt, but it’s hard to tell. As time goes on Molly gets Matt a job at her company, which involved lots of premieres and parties. I’d see Molly at church and events, but honestly I just thought she was charming, and maybe Matt would go out with her. I remember on multiple occasions I would tell Matt he should go out with her, but he’d say, “No, no, I don’t want to be tied down”—or some other excuse along those lines. I’d also ask Matt to invite Molly to hang out on the weekends, but he would drag his feet most of the time. The last time I insisted he go out with her, I said, “You should go out with her! She’s so great!” Then I remember saying, “One day she’s going to make someone very happy.”

SHE SAID: Matt and Dave were fun guys—charismatic, flirtatious. I honestly don’t remember giving Matt much thought outside of seeing him at church. I had a job that took up a lot of my time, but then HR mentioned to me that we needed a production assistant. I immediately thought of Matt because I knew he was looking. Matt got the job, and we got to know each other a lot more. Although I loved him tons as a human—and we did love to flirt—we were completely incompatible as anything more than friends. I remember Matt started bringing Dave to premieres and parties and I always felt great when Dave was around. He was so easy to talk to, really cute, and I just had a great feeling being with him.

HE SAID: I was mildly annoyed that Matt never called Molly to invite her over and hang out when she was always so fun to have around. So the next time I saw her at church, I asked her for her number. I just thought she was great, that we were friends, and that I wanted to hang out with her more. That was Sunday. By Monday I had already lost the little paper with her number and email and had to call Matt to ask him for it. Matt told Molly, and so she just emailed me— I’m sure with not the first eye roll I would bestow upon her!

SHE SAID: One Sunday I remember only asking Dave what his last name was, and at the time I liked the way it sounded (little did I know I would be spelling it for people the rest of my life!), and then he said, “I keep telling Matt to call you so we can all hang out! Give me your number and I’ll call you.”

HE SAID: At the time my job was assisting two executives at a television network art department, where I had a lot of down time. When Molly emailed me, I had nothing to do but email back. I’d also make comics and sent them just to amuse her because she wasn’t super busy either. I asked her if she liked Matt, and she said no. She asked me if I liked her friend, and I said no. And then it was sort of like oh… you don’t and I don’t… so do you want to get a coffee or something? Sure she could fit me in on Wednesday between 6:30 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. after work just before her pilates class.

Dave’s Comics

SHE SAID: Never be too available, ladies!

HE SAID: The next three days we probably emailed 30 times each talking about everything. By the time we met for coffee, it was pretty much like…are you the one? I was maybe a bit eager and got there early. It was a small Coffee Bean, and standing there were just two employees staring at me. “Can I help you?” “Ah no, just waiting on someone,” leading to me and the Barista just staring at each other, so I finally said, “Actually yes, I’ll have a coffee.” Then I waited at a table outside. Molly arrived and saw I had a coffee and said, “Oh you already have a coffee? I’ll grab mine.” I would live to forever regret that small inaction. Because I didn’t buy her coffee, it “wasn’t a date.”  In my defense, I also didn’t try to kiss her goodnight!  We talked, and although I can’t remember what we said, I remember leaving being pretty sure I was going to marry her—even though it wasn’t a date! Anyway, when I got home I called my Mom and sisters to tell them I met someone.

SHE SAID: Although he didn’t buy my coffee (lol!), I left that date (that obviously wasn’t a date!) thinking he might be the one. I called my mom and told her the next day.

HE SAID: The next day I asked her when I could see her again. She said that she supposed I could come over and watch “Must See TV” (I’m aging us!) with her roomate and her boyfriend. We did, and as the night went on, they went to their room as we watched more TV. I remember kissing her and then asking “So can I call you my girlfriend?” I figured with all that we’ve been talking and flirting it feels like we’re already there. But she didn’t just say yes. She said, “That’s so funny.” “Why? I asked” “Well because my friends usually date someone for a while before they talk about being boyfriend/girlfriend.” “Ok…so will you be my girlfriend?” I swear she said something like, “Um suuure, OK.” So with that vote of confidence, I kissed her good night and we were dating!

SHE SAID: I was leaving for Palm Springs the next day with my girlfriends. Once we were all in the car, I said, “So…I have a boyfriend.” Everyone was shocked because they hadn’t even heard me mention anyone! He called me multiple times a day that weekend and my friends thought I was crazy.

HE SAID: Soon after, I told Matt I was dating Molly. He said, and I’ll never forget, “Watch out you’ll be married in a year.” Good warning, because he was almost right. It was a year and a half.

Photos by Elizabeth Messina

14 thoughts on “The Story of Us”

  1. I remember this story very clearly. Proud to be the first Schoneveld (after Dave) to meet you, Molly! Love you both! 🙂

  2. OH my gosh, THAT’S RIGHT!! Had I known then what I know now, I would have been very nervous to meet you, lol! Am I smart enough, am I cool enough?! Thanks for always making me feel welcome. Love you!

  3. Factual- She did call to say she had met the guy she was going to marry! Perfect fit! When you know, you know!
    Molly’s maternal Grandparents had a similar story, and that romance endured for more than 50 wonderful years!

  4. This was such a great time in our lives! I totally remember being like YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!? and hearing this sweet story. I also feel like some of ‘your friends who dated people forever before they considered them a boyfriend’ was probably me ? love y’all so much!

  5. THOSE WERE THE YEARS! And no, I’m pretty sure you never considered anyone a boyfriend until you said I DO! LOL. I’m so grateful the boyfriend of yours that I told you I wanted to kiss, and you so generously encouraged (LOL), didn’t end up being your husband xoxoxoxox

  6. Gretchen Ethridge

    Molly and Dave, What a beautiful and fun recollection of such a happy, exciting time in all of our lives! Here’s to the two of you: Happy Valentine’s Day with Love! Scott & Gretchen

  7. Sandra Zaninovich

    Such a charming, delightful and romantic love story!! You guys are very fortunate in so many ways, and so deserving.

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